From Torture Chamber to Pleasure Dome: The Words We Speak Shape the Lives We Live

One of my favourite topics to explore, both in my work and my own healing, is the subconscious mind.

It fascinates me.

Because, unlike the conscious mind, which questions, analyses, and filters… the subconscious doesn’t reason. It doesn’t debate. It simply accepts.

It absorbs our repeated words, emotional experiences, and internal narratives like rich soil taking in seed—without judgment or resistance.

And that’s why the language we use matters so much more than we often realise.

The other day, I arrived at the gym and began getting changed in the women’s locker room. I was halfway through peeling off my jeans when a woman nearby, fresh from her aqua class, turned to me with that familiar post-swim glow and asked, “Where are you off to now, love?”

“Upstairs to the gym,” I replied, reaching for my leggings.

She pulled a face and said with mock horror, “Oh no… the torture chamber!”

I grinned, chuckled and responded, “I actually call it the pleasure dome.”

She laughed, and I did too—but as I walked upstairs, that moment clung to me.

Not because it was funny, but because it was familiar. How often do we do this? Use words so casually—so reflexively—that we forget the weight they carry?

The subconscious mind doesn’t understand sarcasm. It doesn’t stop to analyse whether we’re being literal or not. It doesn’t ask, “Did she really mean that?”

It just listens. Absorbs. Accepts.

The words we speak are the seeds we sow.

And our subconscious—like rich soil—doesn’t judge whether we’re planting weeds or wildflowers. It simply grows what we give it.

So if we repeatedly call the gym a torture chamber, the body learns to flinch. The motivation wanes. Resistance builds. The subconscious begins to associate movement with suffering, effort with punishment. Not because it’s true—but because you told it so.

And the subconscious? It believes you.

One of my great heroes, Dr. Joseph Murphy, whose book The Power of Your Subconscious Mind I return to again and again, writes:

“The conscious mind is the watchman at the gate. Its chief function is to protect the subconscious mind from false impressions.”

That sentence echoes in me like a mantra.

Your conscious mind is the gatekeeper. It gets to decide which impressions pass through and root themselves in the deeper mind. But here’s the catch: most of us leave that gate wide open.

We speak carelessly. We joke about hating Mondays. We call rest laziness. We label certain foods “bad.”We call our bodies names we wouldn’t say to a stranger.

And then we wonder why our motivation slips, our self-worth falters, or our nervous system tightens before we’ve even begun.

This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about intentionality.

It’s about recognising that language is a tool—and, more truthfully, a spell. The things we say (especially when repeated or emotionally charged) form the architecture of our inner world.

The subconscious is your genie—and it’s always listening. The words you speak become its command.

So what are you telling it?

Are you describing life as a grind, a war, a punishment? Or as a practice, a devotion, a playground?

These days, I speak to my subconscious like it’s a child, an artist, and a wise friend—all at once. I choose words with care, not perfection, but compassion. I remind myself that every sentence is a doorway into how I feel—and how I live.

So the gym? It’s my pleasure dome—a temple. A space where I reclaim strength, sweat out resistance, and remember that effort can feel good when it’s not laced with shame.

I invite you to notice the phrases that spill from your mouth without thought. What are they teaching your subconscious?

And do they reflect the life you’re truly choosing to create?

Speak as if your body, your mind, and your future self are listening because they are.

With love, Willow

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